For decades, many churches have become known more for what they’re against than what they’re for—especially when it comes to sexuality.

Pornography, adultery, gender confusion and sexual ethics all deserve serious attention. But if Christians only ever describe what is forbidden, many people are left wondering what God’s positive vision actually is.

That is the question driving this conversation between PJ and Melbourne Pastor Liam Swain on the Love Questions Podcast. Rather than revisiting familiar debates, they ask a more foundational question: What did God intend sex to be?

Whether or not you agree with every theological conclusion reached in the discussion, it’s a refreshing attempt to shift the conversation from prohibition towards purpose.

Moving beyond “don’t”

One of the strongest themes throughout the conversation is the idea that the Church has often reduced its teaching on sex to a list of prohibitions.

Liam argues that many Christians grow up hearing “don’t have sex before marriage” without ever hearing why God created sex in the first place. That, he suggests, leaves believers entering marriage with little positive framework beyond permission replacing prohibition.

Rather than denying biblical sexual ethics, the discussion argues those ethics make sense only when understood within God’s larger design.

Sex as part of God’s good creation

Throughout the interview, PJ repeatedly steers the discussion back to Genesis.

Instead of viewing sexuality primarily through the lens of sin, both speakers encourage Christians to begin where Scripture begins—with creation.

Their central claim is that sex serves purposes far beyond physical pleasure. They describe it as strengthening covenant, expressing mutual self-giving, deepening intimacy and, naturally, creating new life.

One particularly helpful observation is that healthy intimacy isn’t portrayed as automatic. Like communication, trust and forgiveness, it requires intentional growth.

That emphasis removes both perfectionism and passivity. Marriage isn’t presented as a magical solution to sexual struggles, but as a relationship that still requires honesty, patience and learning.

Restoration instead of shame

Perhaps the most compelling section comes when both men describe their own experiences overcoming pornography.

Rather than presenting freedom as simply trying harder, both describe a turning point when their focus shifted away from defeating sin itself and towards deeper relationship with Christ.

The repeated emphasis is that shame keeps people hiding, while Jesus repeatedly moves towards broken people rather than away from them.

That theme runs consistently throughout the discussion.

Rather than excusing sexual sin, the conversation argues that Christ’s pattern is one of restoration. Sexual brokenness is treated as something God is willing to redeem rather than a permanent identity.

For readers familiar with the Gospels, this emphasis will feel recognisably biblical, even if some listeners may wish particular theological claims were explored in greater depth.

A needed correction for Christian culture

Another worthwhile contribution is the challenge to compartmentalise faith.

Liam argues Christians often pray about work, finances and parenting, yet rarely invite God into conversations about intimacy within marriage.

His point is simple but thought-provoking: if every part of life belongs to God, then marriage and sexuality shouldn’t be treated as spiritually off-limits.

The discussion also encourages married couples to communicate openly, seek wise counsel where needed, and remember that intimacy involves far more than physical acts.

Those practical observations make the conversation feel pastoral rather than merely theoretical.

Some cautions

Listeners should recognise that parts of the discussion include personal testimony about freedom from addiction and theological reflections that won’t be universally understood or interpreted the same way across Christian traditions.

Likewise, some comments about neuroscience, pornography recovery and spiritual formation are presented conversationally rather than as researched medical or scientific claims and would benefit from independent verification before being treated as established fact.

That said, the heart of the discussion is not medical advice but discipleship.

Its central question remains valuable:

If God created sex as something good, are Christians spending enough time explaining what makes it good?

That question alone makes this episode worth considering.